Also turn off the goddam Espn because it’s early and I want to sleep
I don’t like you. I don’t even think I love you. I tolerate you, because it would be too complicated not to. And I think that’s the best it’s ever going to be. Anything else is just an attempt to make me feel like a better person. I know that sounds bad, and it is. But I need to stop pretending that things will change when I “grow up.” Growing up isn’t waking up one day to find your problems fixed, it’s having the ability to realize and accept when there’s nothing to fix in the first place. Growing up is learning to be okay with things the way they are, which isn’t always the easy option it’s made out I be. I don’t want your gifts because I know they’re not free. They’re like a checkmate in a game I had no choice to play. I hate it when you’re here and I don’t think you treat me with respect. You only ever want to talk about yourself. You think you’re better than me, and I think I’m better than you. We’ll never break out of that. And don’t try to guilt me like I am your child. It’s fucking sick.
